woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
