I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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