I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
as a side note pls kill me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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