Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize