the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
