Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
