I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
