oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
