I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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