im holly from the hills drunk
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize