I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
