May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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