It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
