I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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