How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
