It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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