I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My cat gives me a boner
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
