Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
