We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
