His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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