So drunk its hurt
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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