I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
