Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
