So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
