A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
