Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize