Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im part way to drunk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
