I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize