My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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