I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
