When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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