yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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