so that wasnt chicken after all
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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