dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
