i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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