living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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