Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
