I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
