so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
