At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
