yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
