She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
