He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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