VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize