you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
