i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
