it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
