You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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