It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
