Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
