I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
