hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
