he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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