dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
