i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
