I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
