Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is wine microwaveable?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
