xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize